Confessions of a Sado-sexual Dominant

by

The Lord Dragon

My introduction to the D/S life style and the world of de Sade came at an early age and it came for real. As a mere teenager, I was witness to the most ingenious forms of Far Eastern torture used to extract information, albeit useless information in many cases, from reluctant enemy combatants. Nevertheless, I became enamored with the world of torture and its limitless impact on the human body and psyche.

I buried these feeling deep inside me and kept the dark impulses, which they had spawned under tight control. Over the next quarter-century I developed a mastery of my yearnings and most of all a strong control over myself. I felt this was mandatory before allowing my desires to spread beyond mere fantasy. It was mandated by the remaining degree of sanity, which did not allow my desires to rise to their fullest capacity and eventually lead to the tragic demise of a play partner. There was no question that the torture, which I had witnessed lead to a degree of insanity, but only a degree and not a complete loss of all control. I feel strongly that to be a Dominant in the Scene, you must first be able to dominate yourself.

I adopted the D/S lifestyle with its mantra: Safe, Sane and Consensual as my own. Perfecting bondage techniques and edge play allowed me to enter the realm of fantasy rape. Here the goal was to surprise and subdue, but unlike actual rape, brutality against women was not an overriding theme. The goal was to master and subdue women and then to have my way with them, but at the end of the day, to keep them around for future sessions. Play sessions always involved weapons, forced disrobing of the submissive, bondage and sexual penetration in countless forms. And both hopefully and gleefully, the attempt to resist on the part of my submissive. Watching them struggle against their bonds served to heighten my pleasure. Their loss of control and my assumption of complete control over them was both the goal as well as my reward. Sexual gratification for both my partner and myself was, of course, always an element, but not the most critical element.

For these reasons, I don’t play in the cyber world. I need to feel my submissive struggle. I need to see real fear etched in her face. I need to witness her struggles and eventually her humiliation. For with control, her destiny was in my hands both pain and pleasure and with a skill honed in reality, the proper mixture of both. Active imagination can lead to the creation of the most incredible sensory pleasures, but for me I need to the element of proximity. For the submissive the surrender of control opens an entire universe of possibilities, which might otherwise be forbidden. For the dominant, the skillful use of power can lead to the ultimate satisfaction.

I have an active imagination and I am a successfully writer, but without the “feel” or without the engaging of all of my senses, I cannot achieve the same degree of satisfaction.